Can't Stop We just can't stop being dirty!
Author Archive
The Magic Dildo in my …
This lady walks in to a Porn shop one day complaining about the fact that her husband isn’t enough for her any more and that she is sexually frustrated. The guy behind the counter suggests a Dildo or Vibrator, the lady blushes as he shows her the different sizes and shapes she can choose from, [...]
Let Me Suck and Blow You
The more I suck, the faster you get off. My thrust is what gets you up. I have to get hot before I can blow. What am I? . . . . . . . . . .
How To Turn Me On Fast
It turns me on when you play with my knobs. After you make me hot, you shouldn’t touch me. Stick your meat inside me any time you want to. What am I? . . . . . . . . . .
I’m Always Wet When You Lay Me
It takes a while to get hard enough for you to get on me. Once I’m hard I can last a LONG time! I’m always wet when you lay me. What Am I? . . . . . . . . . .
Stick Me Between Your Lips
I’m about six inches long. When you use me, my hairy end gets white and creamy. You usually stick me between your lips. What am I? . . . . . . . . . . .
I’ll Cum All Over Your Face
Press my buttons right and I’ll come all over your face! I usually get spread all over your hairy parts When you wipe me off, I get white stuff on your towel what am i? . . . . . . . . . .
Get Laid Over and Over
What if: You only got laid once in your lifetime You only get eaten once It takes you 4 minutes to get hard …but only 2 minutes to get soft The one box you have is shared with eleven other guys And the only chick that sat on your face was your mother… At least [...]
He Got Stuck!
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on [...]
A Girls First Time
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right [...]
Fill My Holes with your Gooey Liquid
You slide me in a slit to get me hot… Your gooey liquid filles my holes… You eat me in the morning… what am I? . . . . . . . . . .
F – - K
I start with an F I end with a K I always get laid on the table… If you can’t get me, you might have to use your hand What am I? . . . . . . . . . .
How To Get F*cked!
So I’ve created this wonderful flowchart that describes how to get f*cked! Notice that there is a specific path that can be followed that actually gets you fucked TWICE in one night! See if you can find this path. Feel free to print this chart out and keep it handy in your wallet at all [...]
I Can Blow You for a While
I come and go whenever I please… I can blow you for a while, but it usually doesn’t last very long… I have a big hole… By the time your in my hole, everything is pretty wet… Unless your in my hole, I can be pretty dangerous After all of the blowing and getting in [...]
How to Flirt with an Older Woman …Successfully
Flirting with an Older Woman is a fine art that could potentially result in a wonderful evening or just a slap in the face. When trying to “get with” the fairer/older sex, just the quick reference guide below: DO MAYBE DON’T! Compliment her class Compliment her ass Be a Jackass These ladies are already past [...]
Top 10 Signs That You Are In Love
You always hear older people talking about “back in my day” blah blah blah. Well a main thing that was different “back in their day” is the way that they felt LOVE! In this post, we will compare the “OLD Signs” that you are in love (from the old school, classic times), with the “NEW [...]
Is It Okay to Stare at Boobs?
So staring at a girls boobs is like robbing banks…sooner or later you WILL get caught, and you WILL get punished! In this case, you’ll probably get slapped in the face. So, what we’ve determined here is: Conclusion: Staring at a girls chest is not considered a nice thing to do… My question…does the same [...]